In Your Head
by BOOGIEBEARLOVE
Summary: TEGAN/SARA Tegan doesn't know what to do! She has this feeling she just can't stop. What will Sara think of this? PLEASE DONT HATE! not real. All made up by a crazy fan!
1. Chapter 1

In Your Head

We just finished our last show here in The Henry Fonda Theatre in Los Angeles.  
Great audience i must **say. Id** say one of the best, and well gayest, but thats  
what i love about Los Angeles, so many teenagers knowing who they are, what they want, Unlike me. What I want? Who I want? "Jesus Fucking Christ" if only they knew  
what a bad person i really was. Would they still be Fans? Would they still like our band? Would there still be a band? Will We still be Tegan & Sara? or just stupid fucking Tegan "the one who ruined everything?", and Sara? Will she? Will she? Accept this? "Fuck". I'm just going to shut my mind off and go to my bunk.

I wonder if Sara's still out there signing autographs? She sure isnt in her bunk **yet. Id** expect her to have been here by now. She sang her ass off tonight, She did great, i wont admit it out loud, but she did. Well then, off to my little dreams, my wicked, yet wonderful dreams.

3 HOURS LATER

"Gosh this RV is hot, People need to really stop breathing so much". I wake up and snatch my shirt off, because God Try being in an RV with 4 very sweaty band members. Not the best Air to be in, or to breath in. Thank god they have their own section way at the front. I wonder if Sara is here yet? I turn to face the bunk next to me.  
Yeah she is.  
Look at her **sleep. So** Peaceful, so Careless, so...so Beautiful, and...and.. "Fuck" she's my sister. I realize I said fuck a wee bit to loud, because I start to see Sara fluttering her eyes open. She slowly starts to wake as she looks straight at me in a questioning look.

"Tegan?" she sounds so cute and groggy.

"Yeah" I whisper. "What the Hell Tegan! You woke me up".

"yeah well ummm sorry about that" I say trying to drop all conversation, because God knows i need her to go back to sleep. That way she wont see how lost i get while staring at her.

"It's ok dork" She looks straight at me.

She starts to Grin "I see u couldn't handle our breathing".

I look down at my bare chest with nothing but my grey lace bra. "Well you guys really do need to stop breathing so much". I start to cover myself up with my blanket.

"Yeah you better cover up, because your disturbing my sleepy little eyes".

I grin at her and smartly respond "You wish you had this bod with my hard abs and soft skin".

She shifts herself the opposite direction, towards the wall, not facing me anymore.

"You wish you had my body" she whispers drifting back to sleep.

I turn towards my wall now, and whisper so silently "Yeah i do" your beautiful, soft body in my arms holding you tightly in peace without a worry, and with that I drift off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

NEXT MORNING

"What the Fuck"

I wake up to the sound of Sara screaming halfway across the rv hallway.

"What the hell Sara?" I get up and stretch myself out. I make my way o the couch she is so comfortably sitting on. Shes reading her book, completely buries in it.

"Tegan! Why the hell did she have to get killed off?"

I slowly sit beside her "You woke me up Sara, Over a Fucking book?" I look at her half asleep. She smiles and Simply replies "Payback is a Bitch" refering to last night and my "fuck" alarm clock that woke her up.

"Yeah, Yeah, Fuck You" I reply smartly. She looks up from her book and replies " Is that the way to talk to your bestest twin sister?" I crack a smile of how sarcastic she just said that. I unconsciously scoot myslef closer to her and rap my arm into hers. She rapidly pulls away and states "Ew Tegan no touching."

I pretend not to care and respond sarcastically "but I thouhgt we were the bestest sisters."

I get up and make my way back to my bunk and wonder why it hurts so bad?

AFTERNOON

"We are here Ladies" Our tour bus driver Ed yells to us. Finally a cold fucking shower. We stop by a relatively fancy hotel before we hit the road again. Sara and the band really need that shower. Offcourse I do to, but I know I just need to cool off. The band members have their separate rooms, Sara and I have our own, and unfortanelty just one shower. Sara is taking her sweet ass time. So I do the unthinkable. I strip down and slowly washing her soft wet body from head to toe. I blink rapidly and swallow slowly at the image through the glass shower doors. I can see every little detail that is Sara, that is me. "Fuck Me, she's my sister. "Block it away Tegan, Block it away."

"Tegan?" I see Sara right infront of me rapped into her towel looking at me oddly.

"What the hell Tegan, couldn't you wait?" I blink rapidly and think about a response.

"Well you took your sweet ass time." So I walk past her, let my towel fall and hop in the shower.

"Dork" she replies.

Two hours, two whole fucking hours in the shower. I can't stop thinking, I can't stop wanting, I can't stop loving her. I need her. I may have her as my sister, yet I don't really have her. I finally step out of the shower after two hours of thinking it through. I can't handle being so close to her and not being able to hold her, kiss her, touch her. So Iv'e decided, decided to give her space, give "us" space. I just need time to myself, time to forget, or atleast try. For I can't handle this pain any longer. After this last tour we are through. I can't stick around any longer.

THAT NIGHT

"Why is it that we always seem to get a single bed in hotels?" Sara states.

"Beats me" I reply as if I don't care. As if I don't know, when in reality I know. I always make that one request to the hotels, a single for two.

Nothing wrong with two twin sisters sharing a bed together. We were in our mothers womb 9 months, what is one or two nights.

Sara slowly turns to face me. Both of us our now laying in bed facing eachother. I look at her as if though she is burning me with her eyes.

"Tegan" she whispers.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Youv'e been so distant tonight?"

"youv'e hardly talked to me."

"Don't tell me you PMSing?"

I don't respond and just turn around and face the opposite direction.

"Tegan? What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired Sara, you know with the touring and all."

"Fuck you Tegan! You're my sister and yo swear I can't see when somethings bugging you."

"Tell me!"

"I have nothing to say" I try to state.

"What the fuck Tegan you always tell me if there is something worng."

"Tell me"

"NOOO Fuck off!" I yell back. I rapidly turn around and face her as to apologize.

She looks so hurt by my reaction to her concerned kindness. All she wanted to do was help.

"Look I'm sorry okay" Iv'e just been thinking way too much"

"About?" she whipsers.

"Nothing it's complicated."

"Shit Tegan, what's wrong with you?" she looks at me slightly frustrated.

"Fuck, look Sara I don't know how to tell you this!"

I begin to stutter " I…I Think I should, we should give eachother space after this tour."

"WHAT?" O_O she replies in complete shock.

"WHY? Where did that come from Tegan?"

"Tegan?" Sara starts to lower her voice.

"Look Sarah I'm sorry okay"

"Just tell me why?" sara whispers cutting me off.

"Why?"

I slowly begin to tremble, My nerves getting to Me. "I just..I..I can't…"

Saras eyes begin to water "Can't what Tegan?'"

"You can't talk to me anymore, can't trust me? she pauses "can't be my twin anymore?"

I freeze , I looks straight into Sara's eyes "you don't understand Sara, You won't understand."

"What won't I understand Tegan?" Sara yells out.

"I don't want to be your twin anymore!" I pull the covers off of myself and rapidly get up to leave. I stand there silently, my back facing Sara.

Sara slowly gets off of the bed and walks towards me. She stands behind me grabs my shoulder and turns me around roughly.

"Fuck you Tegan!" Sara says as tears stream down her face.

My heart slowly begins to break at that moment, I have never seen Sara like this, so sad, so lost, I hated myself for hurting her, but I have no other choice.

I reach for Sara's hand. I hold it softly and whisper "I'll sleep on the floor and get a new hotel room tommorrow morning." I let go and start to walk away, but stop when I suddenly feel Sara grasps my arm and pull me back into a needed hug.

She whispers "Please don't do this Tegan."

My body stiffens, and I don't say a word, I can't" I slightly leave my sisters grasp. I get my blankets and make my bed on the cold hard floor. I lay myself down slowly and whisper so that Sara won't hear "I love You Sara."


	3. Chapter 3

Carol This Chapter is for you! Because you're awesome writing inspired me to update this Asap!

Sara's Pov

I am speechless; Tegan has never been so distant. How could she? Why? I'm so confused, Is it my own fault for always pushing Tegan away? Always yelling at her, always bad mouthing her? But…..but… I never meant to hurt her. I was just having fun. I love teasing her and making her comeback with one of her smart remarks. I don't understand why she doesn't want to be my twin. That's really bad. What did I do to make Tegan not wana be my sister anymore. Fuck! It must have been all the bullying. All the " don't touch me" and the "ewws" but I don't do that to hurt her. It's just…..it's just….

"Fuck" what is going on?

I go to my bed, into my empty bed and let my tears come out and dry.

No one's Pov

Tegan in the other hand couldn't sleep that night. She just tossed and turned, she couldn't handle it. Couldn't handle hurting Sara, but she had to. There was no other way out of this. No other way to get Sara off her brain. No other way to stop wanting her so badly. No other way to stop herself from wanting to kiss her sisters soft plump looking lips. "fuck" Tegan whispers. She needed to sleep because when she slept Dark came in, blocking away all the dirty thoughts she had of Sara, Her Sara.

2 Weeks Later

Tegan's Pov

It's been two weeks and Sara and I have barely talked to each other. She tries to start a conversation, but I stop her by making some excuse like me being tired. Then I try to start a conversation, but she doesn't respond. I know she's hurt, but this is what is best. "Fuck" I miss her stupid ass jokes, her smile every time I make my smart remarks. I'm so glad we are headed home; I can't stand being so close to her and not being able to talk to her, touch her, and kiss her. I miss her so bad. I know I can just go up to her and talk to her, but I can't.

I walk slowly towards my bunk and stop myself. I hear sniffles, Sara? Is she crying? I turn around to face her bunk and my heart breaks. I see Sara facing her wall and holding her pillow so tightly pouring her tears out trying to hide herself.

I can't handle this anymore! I step closer to her bed and whisper her name "Sara?" "Sara?"

She doesn't respond. I go into her bunk and slowly slide my hands around her waist and hold her closer to myself. She begins to shake, fuck! What did I do to her? If only she understood. It's not her fault; she shouldn't be suffering like this. I grip my hold on her a bit tighter.

"Don't" I hear her whisper, as if I was to be hurting her. I loosen my grip on her waist, but don't let go.

"Sara?" I whisper back. "Please don't cry."

I hear her sniffle a bit and she slightly turns to face me, her eyes staring directly into my own.

"Why are you here? Talking to me?" She looks at me questioningly.

I look at her knowingly. "Sara you are crying, how can I not be here."

She looks away dissapointedly.

"So you still want to leave?" she whispers and slowly turns back around to face the wall again.

I'm quiet. I don't know what to say to her. If I stay I'll go crazy and if I go her heart breaks, I'll lose my sister, I'll lose Sara, my Sara. I remain silent for what seems to be an eternity.

"Just go to bed Tegan" she pulls the blankets over herself, as if trying to push the inevitable, trying to push aside the fact that I'm not responding, because she just knows I'm not giving in.

I slowly remove my hands from around her beautiful slender waist, not wanting to but having to. As I slowly linger at the edge of her bed getting ready to leave, I suddenly feel her hand on my shoulder. She turns me around softly. I look into her eyes and wait.

"Tegan" I see her struggling to talk.

"I'm sorry" she's sorry? Why is she sorry? What the fuck?

"Sorry for always bad mouthing you, always putting you down, always shouting at you, always getting back at you, and always shoving you off me. I'm sorry for being such a bad fucking sister. I didn't think it would cause you to leave? I didn't mean to push to your limits. I know it's my fault that you want to leave. My stupid attitude finally annoyed you "I'm sorry Tegan."

"I know it's my fault!"

I can't handle this. She's wrong so wrong. Why would she blame herself? I can't take it anymore.

"STOP IT SARA!" I snap her out of it.

"Sara don't blame yourself, stop it, it's not your fault, it's not your fucking fault. So stop it, please!"

I feel tears coming out my own eyes. Fuck this hurts so bad. I want to tell her what I'm feeling and why I'm leaving, but I can't.

"Then why?" she pleads.

"I can't Sara, just trust me please."

"Then I'll just keep blaming myself Tegan" she yells.

"That's the only possible reason I can think of."

"I just know it's my fault Tegan! I shouldn't have bullied you so much, shouldn't have made fun of you, scream at you all those times."

"I, I just shouldn't have..shouldn't have…"

I suddenly shut her up by pressing my lips onto hers.

I feel her tense up but then slowly relax when I rap my arms around her waist.

She's not kissing back. Maybe I should stop, but before I can stop I feel her lips slowly beginning to massage mine.

Oh my god she's kissing back. Sara is kissing me back!

My heart just fainted.

I quickly picked it up and began to lick Sara's bottom lip asking for entrance to her mouth. She quickly let me in. I begin to feel her warm tongue on mine making me slightly moan.

I feel her putting her hand over my shoulders; her chest is beginning to press against mine. Fuck I think she can feel my heart beat against her chest.

Then just when I got used to her body heat against mine she shoves me off.


	4. Chapter 4

Tegan's Pov

Shit, Shit! I can't believe I just did that. Fuck! I need to just jump out of this moving bus.

Crap she shoved me off. I'm so fucking stupid. What should I do now?

Why isn't she talking to me? She's looking at me so intensely right now. She's really making me want to jump out of this tour bus.

She looks like she wants to cry, oh my god what did I do?

"Sara I umm…"

I can't say much, because I just know nothing can take back what I just did. I can't read her right now. Is she pissed off? Hurt? Fuck she's really not talking. STUPID FUCKING ME! Why did Sara's lips have to be so tempting? Why did Sara's lips have to be so close to mine? My regretting thoughts are cut off by Sara Stepping one step back and slowly walking away.

Shit, Shit I need to stop her, I can't let her walk away, I need to say something, anything.

I run up to her and gently grab her arm and turn her around towards me.

"Tegan Don't touch me!" she's crying now.

"Please don't" she slowly whispers.

I look down at the ground, feeling so horrible at that moment. She hates me. I'm such a horrible sister. She's disgusted by me now isn't she? I want to cry so bad right now. My chest hurts.

"Fuck Tegan don't do that!"

"Huh?" I look up at her wide eyed in confusion.

"Don't fucking puppy dog face Me Tegan."

I look even more confused now.

"Fuck Tegan you don't understand"

I look down trying to gather what she's saying.

"Because…because Tegan when you do that face…I just…I just want to kiss you right back"

"What?" O_O I look at her shockingly.

I see Sara quickly look down and away from me.

Did she really just say that? Awwwe is she being shy? Wait I have to concentrate.

"Sara?" I whisper

I take a step closer and slowly lift her face up to face me.

"Sara what did you say?" I look at her desperately looking for an answer.

"Fuck Tegan Stop it please"

Her eyes begin to water.

"Sara?" I whisper and step as close as I can, close enough to feel her hot breath on against my face.

"No Sara! What did you say?"

She quickly steps back one more time and she says something I never saw coming.

"FUCK TEGAN STOP IT"

"Stop making me feel this way!"

"Stop making me want you even more"

"Just stop it before I…before I.."

"Before you what Sara?" I whisper

"You don't understand Tegan." She looks down again.

"Don't understand what!" I begin to raise my voice

She quickly looks up and says it…

"That I fucking love you Tegan!"

"And no not as a fucking sister"

She starts to pace the room, walking back and forth.

She quickly stops and looks straight at me.

"Tegan I don't know why you did what you just did, but I really hope it's not a fucking joke to stop my bantering."

"Because Fuck Tegan, you don't understand what that kiss just meant to me."

I step closer to her again trying to get her to stop because I just want to tell her that this wasn't a joke. I just want to tell her that I feel the exact same way, and that's why I wanted to part ways, but as soon as I step close to her she steps away from me like before. Like she is scared of what might happen next.

"Tegan do you want to know why I always pushed you away?"

"Pushed you away anytime you got to close to me?"

"Do you want to know why I would stay so far away from you all those years?"

"Because fuck Tegan! I only wanted to be extra close to you when you did."

"I felt things that I wasn't supposed to feel for you, and it fucking scared me."

"And it still Fucking scares me"

"So please Tegan! If you're fucking joking stop it right now!"

I slowly started to cry as I heard what Sara had just confessed. Sara loves me.

Sara…My Sara loves me.

"Tegan?" she looks worried now.

"Say..say something" She slightly stutters.

I slightly smirk at how cute she looks in that moment.

I slowly walk up to her gently pushing her against the wall.

I grab a hold of both of her arms and place them above her head and against the wall.

"Sara" I began to whisper, my tears long gone.

"Do you want to know why I don't want to be your Twin anymore?"

She looks at me questioningly and somewhat nervously.

"Why?" she whispers back

"Because… because I've always wanted to be so much more."

I slowly get closer and whisper right into her ear.

"Because Sara….I love you too"

I slightly press my face against her cheek wanting to feel her warmth. Her pale skin making me melt so slowly.

I hear a soft moan come out of Sara's mouth, making me want to cradle her with my love.

"Tegan" she timidly whispers to me.

I reassuringly kiss her soft pale cheek with my tender warm lips.

I trail my kisses closer to her lips.

One more kiss and…..almost there…

I'm instantly cut off by Sara's lips on mine.

I let out a passionate moan against her mouth.

She slowly wraps her arms around my neck as I wrap my arms around her waist.

I feel her sweet saliva on my bottom lip… God she's making me feel so much right now.

I slightly nibble on her top lip asking for entrance, she accepts and I slowly slide my tongue into her warm mouth. She moans a bit louder than before, and tightens her hold on me.

I twist and turn my tongue, helping her feel what I really feel for her.

She begins to nibble the tip of my tongue and I quickly pull back.

"OUCH SARA!" I whisper and look at her seriously.

She looks scared and ashamed, but then I begin to smirk and giggle.

"HEY!" She playfully hits my arm and grins.

"Not funny Tegan."

"No not funny, CUTE"

She slightly blushes at my remark.

I grab her hand and walk her to my bunk.

"Can umm you sleep with me tonight?"

She shyly smiles and pretends to think about it.

"HEY!" I pretend to be hurt.

"Course I will Tegan"

I slowly lay myself down and am joined my sisters soft, warm and cuddly body next to mine.

I wrap my arms around her waist her back against my chest, and kiss her head.

"I love you Sara."

"I love you too T..T.."

Awwwe she called me T.T.! she hadn't called me that since we were 5.

"Night Sara, Sweet dreams" I whisper

"Of you? Always" she whispers back

As we both drift off to sleep. Sleeping so peaceful that night. Without a care.


	5. Chapter 5

The Morning After

(Tegan's Pov)

I slowly opened my eyes to the feeling of someone's arm wrapped around my waist. Who the hell could..?? Suddenly last night's events flashed before my eyes. I instantly felt my heart beginning to speed up. I felt my face flush and… Oh my god! I kissed Sara. Sara kissed back. Sara and I kissed, and, and she loves me back, and she is here, now, on my bunk, holding me from behind. My cheeks began to turn red. I slowly placed my hand on my right cheek and I noticed it was hot. "Wow, do I have a fever?" I wondered, then suddenly realizing that no one and nothing has ever made my blush so feverishly.

I began to feel Sara's warm arms pull me closer to her. Snuggling in to my neck and placing her head on my shoulder.

"Goodmorning Tegan" I could feel her warm feverish cheek against mine.

"Muh…Morning" Gosh did I just stutter?

"Tegan did you just stutter?" I feel her giggle into my ear which instantly makes me shiver.

"Is something wrong?" she asks a little worried.

"Oh god Sara no, no, no, nothing is wrong at all it's just…"

"It's just?" she asks a little fearful.

"I really hope you're not having second thoughts Tegan."

"Because I don't know If I can handle that right now, I mean I've never felt so..so.."

I quickly turn around and face her, instantly silencing her.

I slowly place my arms around her beautiful slender waist and pull her extra close to me.

"Sara shut up… You sound like a needy puppy" I rub my nose against hers.

She looks at me shyly.

"I was going to say, before you had your little panic attack that is, that I just…I just can't believe that I'm here, now, with you, l so close, no excuses, just us, us together finally."

"Together?" o_O Sara says questioningly?

"Why Tegan? Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?"

Sara looks at me with the silliest smirk I've ever seen.

"Umm well…I thought now that..ummm" Shit why am I so nervous. Just ask her Tegan!

"Ummm I…Ummm" God I'm blushing I can feel it.

"Tegan" Sara sweetly calls at me.

"Uh yeah?" I ask shyly.

"Would you go steady with me?"

I felt my cheeks begin to burn even more at that moment.

"Awe TT your blushing, Is that a yes?" she asks me teasingly.

"Shut up Sara! And Yes!"

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" I accidently say out loudly.

"Oh shit, sorry" I laugh nervously.

"Awe Tegan you're such a dork" she says giving me a quick peck on my cheek.

"Oh yeah, well your super corny, I mean common go steady with you? Who says that anymore?" I look at her with the biggest smirk.

"Shut up! I thought It was sweet, and I only want to treat you sweetly, like you deserve to be treated TT"

"Me?" I point at myself

"But Sara, you're the one that deserves all the sweetness" I say in a serious tone.

"I mean common fuck..all those girls that broke your heart and took you for granted, Divorcing you because they just didn't have time for you…You Sara! The most deserving person ever."

"By girls you mean Emy don't you?" she looks at me knowingly.

"Yeah fucking idiot Emy, the girl who took you for granted, and divorced you!"

"TT that was more than a year ago."

"Let it go common. I have." Sara says peacefully.

"I know Sara, It's just I can't believe that Idiot couldn't see what she had right in front of her..and…and…"

She stops me.

"If it weren't for the divorce Tegan you know we wouldn't be here now, doing this.."

She slowly closes the gap between our lips and smiles at me as calm and as lovingly as she can.

"I know Sara your right" I say knowingly.

"I just… It all brings memories of how bad I felt that year"

"How badly I just wanted to be the one to be with you, and how jealous I was of her for having you, and how stupid she could be for letting you go, and if it was me, and god if it were me I would have never taken you for granted."

"I just wanted to be able to.."

I slowly lean in and kiss her so soft and tender.

But before I part, I nibble on her bottom lip.

"Wow" she says a little breathless.

"Tegan"

"Yeah?" I look at her queastionly.

"Don't be mad at Emy though"

"But How could I not be Sara, I mean she hurt you?" I ask at her a little angry.

"Emy didn't divorce me, I DIVORCED HER."

"What?" I look at her shocked.

"I lied to you" she looks down and ashamed.

"Why would you lie to me Sara?"

"Because Tegan, I was in love with you, I couldn't tell you why, I couldn't tell you, Oh hey Tegan I divorced Emy because well..I'm in love with my twin sister."

"Well yeah but.."

"No buts Tegan, you would have done the same and you know it."

"Uh no Sara, I just would have came up with a way better lie then that." I look at her with a cheesy smile.

"Oh shut up dork" She playfully hits my arm.

"I love you" She whispers.

"I love you too baby" I whisper back shyly

"Did you just call me baby?"

"Ummm no, I said Lady?" I said worriedly.

"No you didn't! Who's the liar now huh?" she smiles at me teasingly.

"Hey! I didn't, I swear, mean common that's so corny and ummm so not cool…"

"Well I'm tired of hearing you banter on about how cool you want to be, when we both know you're the biggest corny dork"

She quickly pecks me on my lips, and gets up off the bed.

"Well I'm going to go have breakfast"

"Want to join me baby?" she smiles at me sincerely.

I quickly blush.

"Uh yeah, I do, ummm hee hee" I giggle nervously and we both make our way to eat our breakfast.


	6. Chapter 6

(Tegan's Pov)

Here I am at the Orpheum theatre backstage waiting for the opening band to finish their last song. I'm looking around to see if I can catch one more glance at Sara before we hit the stage and well I can't stare at her anymore. She's around here somewhere. She probably went to go pee, it's so cute when she's nervous and just needs to pee like a second before the show.

It's been 2 weeks since Sara and I confessed our feelings for each other. 2 weeks that Sara and I have officially been a couple. Well maybe not completely official, since well nobody knows but us. Well back to the 2 weeks.

2weeks sound so short right? But wow it's felt like forever. That's in a good way off course. I mean wow, I've never been happier. The way I feel when I'm with Sara is so unimaginable. I never thought it was possible to be so close to her. I can see it in her smile as well, she's happy too. I'm glad that she is, but I'm especially glad that it's me that is making her happy. Yeah just yesterday she called me from the lounging area in the Tour bus, just to say that she misses me. I smiled so wide at that, because I mean common I was just like 12 steps away from her, but off course I missed her too. We had a little separation time, because the boys were around and well I just wouldn't have been able to keep my lips off her. It's really hard not to be able to kiss her and….

Oh yay! Sara's done with her bathroom break. Now I can…Oh wait…I can't Ted is right there. :( I just wanted to wish her luck, but I guess…

My thinking is cut off by screaming and clapping.

"Oh shit" it's time to go on stage.

I quickly strap my guitar on and start to walk to the stage, but before I can make it I feel Sara's soft hand grab mine and pull me back a little. She tells Ted and Shaun to go ahead of us. They nod and walk ahead. The crowd instantly got louder when they walked on stage. I look back at Sara a little confused.

"Sara what are you?" my eyes go wide.

She leans in close to my ear and whispers "I just wanted to wish you luck Tegan"

I instantly blush and give her a nod that it's time.

"Common Sara, let's get out there." I smile at her.

She smiles back and walks ahead of me onto the stage.

"Wow" there's a lot of people here tonight.

I really hope I don't fuck up.

(Sara's Pov)

"Holy shit" there's a lot of people here tonight.

I hope Tegan doesn't mess up.

Well it's not like it's going to mess up the show, because every time she does mess up the fans adore her even more. She does look super cute when she messes up though. Oh shit!!! We started playing the song already!! Ahh!! Okay here goes my part…

"I listened in yes I'm guilty of this you should know this………………………………………………………….."

END OF SONG

Oh gosh that was close. I almost pulled out a Tegan.

I see her glance at me like huh? I guess she noticed I was a little out of it.

She begins talking to the audience.

"Hey everyone, it's great to be here in Los Angeles, I'm glad to see so many awesome gay people, LOOK AT YOU."

Everyone instantly started laughing.

"Tegan that's a little Stereotypish of you don't cha think?"

"Uh no Sara it isn't" she says looking at me expectantly

"And why not Tegan?" I reply…seriously why not? O_o

"Because I'm Gay and I'm in with them!" she throws the peace sign downward trying to look all cool.

Gosh she's so silly.

The audience continues to giggle at our bantering.

"Hope you guys like this next song"

"Your directing me…………………………………..Go steady with me…."

As I was singing my new song "On Directing I slowly looked to my right and noticed Tegan was slightly blushing. Awe she must know it's for her.

2 Hours Later

"And that's how Sara reacted to me being gay, I mean common asthma attack"

"Hey, Hey, It wasn't an asthma attack….I just thought poor TT she's trying to be like me, the wonderful influential sister, and I kind of choked on the air"

Tegan just smiled and began to strum an all too familiar tune.

"I don't need company, In the company of you…"

Then she suddenly stops.

Oh great what is she going to talk about now.

"By the way, this song is for someone very important to me, she's here tonight, and I'm sure she knows who she is, she is very special to me, and I'm just glad I've got her and she's got me.

O_O OMG did Tegan just……Oh crap…I'm blushing…stop Sara..the fans will see you.

The audience begins to "awe" at Tegan and she cheesily smiles and scratches the back of her head.

"Well what can I say, I'm a cute one" she says and quickly looks at me and smiles.

I look down trying to hide my smile and sudden shyness on stage.

The fans cannot notice that that song is for me. Crap. Look serious Sara..Common Kirsten!

Tegan finally starts to play the song.

"I don't need company, in the company of you…"

Okay Okay I'm good."

So we are finally done with the show. It was amazing. I still can't believe how many people came, and I still can't believe Tegan dedicated that song to me. Was it always for me?? I wonder?

I'll have to ask her.

God Tegan, she's such a corn dog, but gosh does she know how to shoot that cupid arrow towards me.

Fuck man. I really want to kiss her right now.

I'm here in the tour bus walking back and forth waiting for Tegan.

She's outside saying hi to the fans. Gosh we haven't kissed in 3 days. This tour is really not good for us. We always have to hide and gosh I can't even kiss her, but hey at least I can sleep with her. Sisters can do that. Off course Ted and Shaun made fun of us for it. Last week they found is in bed cuddling with each other and Ted and Shaun won't stop making fun of us. They say we have become the ideal Mary-kate and Ashley Twins. So what! I can cuddle with my sister. Gees they love teasing us now. Offcourse it doesn't hurt my ego as much as Tegan's. Haha she was all red when they caught us cuddling. Her excuse was.

"Dude Sarah sleep walks, she must have walked into my bed" the boys just laughed it off.

I guess they just know, hey fuck it, they are sisters, and sisters sleep together all the time.

"Shit Tegan why are you taking so long?"

I suddenly feel a certain pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind.

"You've always been so impatient Sara"

I begin to feel Tegan kiss my neck from behind.

"Gosh I've missed feeling you so close to me Sara." She whispers as her hold on me tightens a bit more.

"Tegan you're crushing me, you can let go now." I begin to giggle.

"So hey why aren't you being so undercover detective anymore?"

"Well Ted and Shaun decided to go to this gig down in Hollywood."

Ed's going to pick em up around 7 a.m. in the morning. They are going to stay at some hotel.

"And well, Ed's fast asleep in the driver seat."

"Oh" I respond a little nervous, because to be honest. We have never been so alone together. We always have people around us.

I suddenly see Tegan walk up to me. She's staring deep into my eyes now.

"Sara." She whispers.

"Yeah?" I respond questioningly

"I've got you, has always been for you, just to let you know." She whispers and slowly starts to blush.

"But I remember you specifically saying that It wasn't for me, because it creeped you out?"

"Well you know me Sara, the best at lying, and holding it all in." She says playfully and slightly nervous.

"Awe Tegan, I love you dork, AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TONIGHT!" I slowly put my arms over her shoulders and kiss her on her soft moist lips.

She quickly wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me in as close as possible. She kisses me once on the forehead, and then slowly goes back to my lips. I feel her nibbling on my bottom lip. I can't help but let out a moan.

Gosh I've been waiting for this.

She then slowly slides her tongue into my warm mouth.

She begins to explore my mouth and twist and turns her tongue so slowly inside.

Fuck, fuck she just. Oh my god she's making me so wet right now.

After about 5 minutes of making out, I begin to feel Tegan's hand slide down behind my ass. She gently squeezes it, and gosh she's so good.

I let out another light moan.

"Fuck Sara you need to stop moaning, I'm so fucking wet right now"

"I am too Tegan."

She stops kissing me and the mood suddenly turns serious.

She has a light hold on my hips and whispers.

"Sara, umm." She tries hard to say what she's trying to say.

"Yeah TT?" I ask her a little confused at why we stopped.

"Can, Can I…make love to you?" she whispers and looks unsure of what I'm going to say.

"Tegan?"

"Yeah?" she whispers slowly

"I love you, and I wan't to feel all of you"

"So is that a yes?" she asks a bit confused.

I lean back into her chest and kiss her lightly.

"Yes Tegan."

She shyly smiles and nods her head.

She grabs my hand and slowly leads me into her bunk.

And……


	7. Chapter 7

Tegan's Pov

I gently grab a hold of Sara's hand and slowly lead her to my bunk.

I gently place her down onto the bed and hold her hands in mine. She shyly looks up at me; she looks so innocent, so beautiful, and so vulnerable. I've never seen her look so fragile and so god damned beautiful.

I look down at her and give her a reassuring smile.

I look deep into her eyes and whisper softly to her.

"I love you Sara"

She tightens her hold on my hands and looks deeply into my eyes.

"I love you too Tegan"

I look at her warm heartedly and slowly lean in to kiss her.

She quickly deepens the kiss, making me shiver. She slowly raps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer to her. I can feel her chest pressed against mine and God I'm pretty sure she can hear my heart thumping through my V neck T shirt.

"Tee Tee I love you soo much"

She mumbles in-between kisses. I slowly slide my tongue into her needy mouth and quickly feel hers on mine. I slowly begin to massage her soft wet tongue and can't help but letting out a moan, then I suddenly hear her moan.

"God Tegan I love your kisses"

I grin at her words and continue to kiss Sara with all the love and want I have for her.

I slowly place my hand on her face and feel the hot heat coming from her flushed cheeks.

I slide my hands down to her slender waist, giving me a firm, but loving grip on her beautiful waist.

I begin no nibble on her lower lip, then slowly trail my way towards her exposed neck.

I slowly and gently begin sucking on her neck, tasting her wonderful boyish fragrance.

God, I can't help but stop and take her scent in. I could feel her pulse point thumping so rapidly, I can't believe it's me who is making it do that.

"Tegan why did you stop?" she says through her fast breathing.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to take in your scent" I say a little embarrassed and start to blush.

"Awe Tee Tee your such a Corn dog"

"Well hey, you like me that way! Don't you?"

She grabs my hand and puts in on her chest.

"You feel that don't you?"

"Umm yeah I do. Wow."

"Now Ms. Quin what would make you doubt how I feel about you?"

"Well I mean, I umm, I don't know, I ummm?"

She suddenly shuts me up by pulling me down to her and kissing me roughly, but god so lovingly.

I quickly go back to holding her waist and kissing her madly.

I kiss her like it's the last day on this world.

Gosh her lips are so soft and moist.

My thoughts are cut off when I suddenly feel her biting on her top lip.

Sara can be rough, BUT GOSH I CAN FEEL HER HOT HOT heart.

My hands begin to go lower down her waist and straight to her beautiful hips.

God Dammit! Her hips are so full and grab able.

I suddenly feel her slowly trying to pull my shirt off. I quickly help her by instantly pulling it off myself; messing up my hair in the process.

After I take my shirt off I feel Sara quickly snap my bra off.

I look at her shyly and kiss her lips quickly.

She looks straight into my eyes and her eyes wander down to my bare breast.

I can't help but blush like a fricking tomato.

"Tee Tee you're so beautiful"

"I umm thank you?" I try to say, stumbling over my words.

"Tegan your such a shy dork"

"Hey! I can't help it, I mean.. I mean.. look at you..your so beautiful and..and.. I'm…"

I'm instantly silenced when I suddenly feel her place her hands on my bare breast.

"Oh my…uh…" I let out an unexpected moan.

"Tegan you have such beautiful breast" She starts to massage them softly, making circular motions on my right breast.

"Fuck Sara"

"Yeah Tegan?" she asks shyly?

"Don't stop I…I…"

She then lightly pinches my right nipple with her thumb and index finger.

"Uh..uh..Sara Fuck"

I can't take this I quickly grab her face and kiss her roughly and passionately.

Not exploring her tongue, but conquering it.

I start twirling my tongue around hers getting a flushed Sara out of it.

I slowly find my way to her pants button, quickly unbuttoning it and slowly sliding them down to her knees. My shaking hand finds its way to her panties and gently presses on to the material feeling the wetness going through. I softly begin to rub her bulgy clit over her panties instantly hearing her moan and call out my name.

"Tegan… fuck…"

"I love you Sara" I whisper to her

I slowly grab the hem of her panties getting ready to slide them off, but stop and look at her first.

She looks nervous. Should I? I mean should I ask her for permission to slide them off? I don't want her to have a nervous asthma attack or anything.

"Tee Tee what's wrong?" she looks at me questioningly.

I look at her shyly.

"Sara can I umm? Can I ummm?" I look down at where my hand at.

Sara looks down and shyly realizes what I'm trying to say.

We share a shy look and I smile at her lovingly.

But wait does that mean yes?? Oh shit! Should I ask again?

"Sara umm..does that mean I….?" Im cut off instantly.

Sara's Pov

I softly grab her hand and place it inside my panties, instantly giving her access to my soft wet pussy.

I definitely shut her up and made her blush in the process.

Well that made us both blush really.

She licked my lips lightly, kissed me and began to rub her fingers on my wet clit.

"Fuck Tee Tee, Your fingers are so soft"

"You're so fucking wet Sara Fuck" She looks into my eyes and asks for entrance.

"Can I?"

"Yes Tegan, just do it already, I want all of you baby."

I begin to feel her fingers trailing down to my entrance, she places her two slender fingers at the entrance and pauses.

"Sara am I all yours?" She asks me warm heartedly and shyly.

"Yes Tee Tee, I'm all yours" I suddenly feel her two fingers enter my wet entrance. I feel the pressure and then the pleasure.

"Oh..my…god.. Uhhh…." I can't help but moan.

God her fingers feel so perfect. Fuck she feels so good.

"Baby deeper please..Go deeper!"

I whisper into her ear as I rap my arms around her neck tightly.

I want to feel more of her.

"Sara your so tight uhh…." She whispers in my ear.

I suddenly feel twice as much pressure as before, She adds one more finger and..

"Uhhh!!!! Tegan….." I feel tears coming out of my eyes.

"Uhhh…I… Love…you ..soo much"

I guess she felt my wet tears slide down to her face because she stopped and is now looking at me worryingly.

"Sara why are you crying!?" She looks scared now.

"Shit baby! Did I hurt you?" she looks cute now.

"I'm soo sorry, I mean.. I didn't mean to…mmmm"

I quickly shut her up and kiss her.

"Noo silly, you are wonderful and gentle"

"Then why?" she looks confused.

"Because I love you soo much and..umm..and your really good" I say shyly.

She starts to smile, her cheesy shy one I love so much.

"Oh..umm…" she starts tripping over her next words.

"Tee Tee?"

"yeah Sara?"

"Can you umm you know?' I say looking at her hand lovingly.

"Oh shit…yeah baby!!! I'm sorry…gosh I'm an idiot"

"No your not baby… I… UHHHHH….." I'm cut off my the wonderful feeling inside of me.

"Oh god Tegan!"

"Like this baby?"

"Yes Tee Tee like that.."

After about 20 minutes of ecstasy I start to feel myself shaking.

"Tegan… oh my god baby!"

I instantly collapse onto the bunk and feel Tegan's fingers gently come out of me.

She looks down at me and smiles.

"Sara"

"Yeah?" I ask blushing.

"I love you"

"I love you to Tegan"

I smile at her, and then she leans in and gives me a sweet peck.

I look into her ayes wickedly.

"What?" she says worriedly.

I don't say a thing just smile mischievously.

"WHAT SARA!" she says scared now.

"This!" I grab her waist and flip her around so that I am now on top of her.

I kiss her lightly and start to trail kisses to her bare breast.

"Uhh Sara what are you?" she moans lightly

" Shhh, I want to have all of you too."

I quickly take her erect nipple into my mouth and begin to lightly suck and nibble.

"Sara uhh…"

God her breasts are so beautiful.

As I'm sucking on her breast, My right hand slowly slides down to her pants.

I quickly unbutton her and slide her pants and boy underwear off, exposing all of her to me.

She's so fucking beautiful, and so mine.

I stop when I notice she's slightly trembling.

I stop caressing her breast with my lips and look up at her.

"Baby are you sure?"

"Ye…yes I am, just nervous"

I lean in to kiss her softly and smile at her lovingly.

I place my two finger at her entrance and fuck I can feel her wetness on my fingers already.

"I love you Sara"

I start to slide my fingers in, but before I can go in any deeper we both hear a door slam shut from the RV entrance.

"FUCK!" I say outloud.

Shit, shit, shit who the fuck is that!!!

"Sara what the hell do we do??" she looks scared.

I'm fucking scared.

I grab the blankets and put them on top of both of us I tell her to hsut her eyes.

We pretend we are sleeping.

We both hear the footsteps coming closer. Shit, Shit, Shit!

Then we hear there voice.

"Awwwe the Olsen twins are cuddling again, looky Shaun!"

It's Shaun and Ted.

They both laugh, but decide to walk away, I guess they didn't want to wake us. Thank God, because that was too fucking close.

"Tee Tee?"

She slowly opens her eyes and looks at me.

"huh"

"I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry? It was kind of funny"

"No I mean that I couldn't you know"

I look at her shyly.

"It's okay Sara, we have our whole life ahead of us right?" she looks at me queastioningly with hope.

"OFFCOURSE Tee Tee!" I lean in and kiss her.

We hug for what seems like an hour, but was really a 5 seconds or 2.

"Ummm Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you pass me my shirt and umm pants?"

"Oh umm Yeah!"

We both change and decided not to sleep separated that night. I mean Ted and Shaun already saw us "sleeping" together.

That night we slept so peacefully. So warm, and I knew from then on that My heart belonged to Tegan always.


	8. Chapter 8

Sara's Pov

Tonight is our last night touring, after this last show we are all heading home.

We won't be touring for a while, till our next album is done.

I can't help but wonder how Tegan and I are going to deal with not seeing each other as much. I mean we don't live together.

I wonder if she'd like to move in with me.

Should I ask her?

She'd probably tease me.

Or worse, what if she says no?

I hear the door open and close.

Oh there goes Tee Tee!

I slowly start to walk up to her in our dressing room.

She smiles at me and cheesily and opens her arms so that I could hug her.

I can't help but laugh at her, she's such a dork.

"Dork"

Her cheesy grin grows wider.

"What? I can't welcome the girl I love with open arms?"

"Shut up! Off course you can"

I slowly wrap my arms around her and kiss her neck lovingly.

"Hey! That tickles Sara!"

"Oh does it?" I question her playfully.

"Yeah it does!" she says out loud trying to convince me.

"oh okay, then I'll stop" I say with a smirk.

She looks at me worriedly. Like a puppy, a lost and confuse puppy, but then suddenly smiles.

"Maybe it wont tickle if you bite it instead?" she whispers seductively.

My eyes grow wide and I can't help but feel like a teenager getting a raise on their weekly allowance!

I can't help but slightly blush.

"Sara?" She whispers shyly at me.

"Tegan!" I moan roughly

Instantly pulling her as close to me as possible.

Ever since we were interrupted 3 days ago, I never got to share my love for Tegan.

I never got to show her how much I really do want her, how bad I really want to keep her.

I've been anticipating a day where we can be alone and I can… I can..

"Fuck Tegan" I whisper against her neck.

I begin to suck her pulse point with all the desire in me.

God she smells so good.

I kiss her neck as many times as I can before I start to unbutton her black flannel shirt.

I look straight into her eyes and I see her shyly smiling at me.

"Sara" She looks at me pleadingly.

"yeah Tee?" I look at her wonderingly.

"I love you so fucking much"

I can't help it!

I quickly start to unbuttoning her shirt almost popping her buttons off.

Her chest is now uncovered revealing her black lace bra and hard heaving chest.

"Tegan your so fucking beautiful"

I slowly place my hand on her right breast and slowly begin to uncover her nipple.

She lets out a moan as I take her nipple in my mouth.

I suddenly feel her nipple erect in my mouth and can't help but lightly nibble on it.

I instantly hear one of the cutest moans I have ever heard in my life.

She is so sensitive, she always was the more sensitive twin, but I love that about her.

I slowly begin to guide my hand down her soft slender stomach guiding me to her black skinny jeans button.

That button that's keeping me from my sisters beautiful soft and moist pussy.

I slowly unbutton the shield that's keeping me from my hearts desire and slowly slide my hand into her white boy boxers.

Then… I… Then I…

(Knock On Door)

"Fuck!!!" I quickly and unwillingly pull my hand out of her boxers.

We both turn our heads towards the door with a hint of frustration.

"YEAH?" we both say out loud.

"Girls we are on in 5"

I look at Tegan sadly and quickly start buttoning her shirt back up.

"I love you Tegan, We'll get to it, I promise."

"I know Sara, I love you too, JUST FUCKING SUCKS!"

"Your so cute when your fustrated you know?"

"Stop! Your going to make me blush and well it's embarrassing."

I quickly lean in and give her a peck on the lips.

"Common let's go!" I grab her hand and let it go when we get out the door.

I hate doing that.

(3 hours later)

SARA'S POV

Dude! That was a kick ass show!!!! I hear the boys talking to each other about what an awesome show we had.

"Hey Sara you seemed to have rushed a couple of songs at the end, you okay?" Ted asks me with a little concern on his face.

"Oh Yeah, Yeah, I'm fine just a little tired and wanted to just kind off rush"

"Well Sara you know better! Don't Rush" Tegan says winking at me.

"You're a dork!"

"A cute one" she replies smartly.

"Hardly!" I lash back with a smile.

Ted just laughs at both of us and walks away to the rv where Shaun is surely playing Rockband.

I look back at Tegan. She is smiling at me cheesily.

"Tegan" I look at her lovingly.

"Yeah?" she replies a little lost.

"FOLLOW ME!" I quickly grab her hand and lead her to the back exit of the building that leads to an alley.

I close the exit door behind us roughly, then push her lightly towards the alley wall.

"Sara?" She looks at me questioningly.

I quickly shut her up with a hot passionate kiss.

Getting an instant moan in return.

We make out for what seems like hours, but stop to take a breath or two.

"Sara please" she looks at me with pleading eyes.

"Fuck Tegan offcourse!"

I quickly unbutton her pants and quickly pull them down to her knees.

She looks so needy right now.

I softly kiss her lips and whisper to her.

"I Love you Tee Tee"

Then I thrust my two fingers inside of her.

Fuck she's so tight.

"Fuck Baby your so tight"

"Ohhh.. Sara.. Uhh!!!" She's moaning roughly in my ear.

She's getting me soaking wet right now.

I can feel her wetness dripping down my two slender fingers.

"I love you So much Tegan" I begin to quicken the paste.

I feel her tightly grasp on to my shoulders and moan rougher then before.

"Uhhh Sara!! Uhh.. I'm Cuming!"

"Cum for me Tegan, I want to feel you on me"

I thrust in a bit harder and..

"Uhh Sara!!!!"

I instantly feel her hot liquid slwoly dripping down on my hand.

I slowly take them out and smile at her lovingly.

"Did I do okay?" I ask shyly.

"Fuck Sara! I love you so much dork" she hugs me as tight as ever.

I take her scent in. That moisty cum scent mixed in with her sweet boy cologne smell.

"I love you too Tegan" I whisper in her ear and lovingly kiss her neck.

"HEY WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING THERE?!!!" me and Tegan quickly turn to some homeless guy looking straight at us.

"Oh shit" I quickly pull her pants up and button them as fast as I can.

"None of your business Shit bag!"

I stand in front of Tegan protectively.

"I know what you were doing!" he smirks and looks at us with a hint of lust.

He starts to walk up to us.

I freeze.. Shit shit shit… We got caught and this sick fuck wants to do some sick shit!

I suddenly feel Tegan grab my arm and pull me behind her roughly and protectively.

"Get the Fuck Out of Here you sick Fuck!!"

He begins to laugh harshly.

"Oh shit you two are fucking Dykes and Fucking Twins!!!!"

"I'm the sick fuck? You're the sick fuck!!!!!"

I see Tegan take a step towards him angrily.

Then….

He fucking pushes her!!

"What the fuck are you going to do you dyke!!You trying to hit me? HUH!!!! Gonna try to protect your Sick sister! HUH!?"

He pushes her again.. She stumbles back.

I quickly get next to her and grab her worriedly.

"Tegan!!! Are you okay!?"

"hahahahahaHAHAHA! And they say I'm Fucking crazy! Not like you Bitches!"

"That's it!!!! That is Fucking it you fucking homeless Douche!"

I see Tegan run up to him and push him roughly to the floor.

Then kicks him roughly.

"I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!!!" He's pleading now.

"Never call my sister a Bitch! You fucking pervert!!!"

"And by the way I love my sister more then anyone will ever love you, you sick fuck!"

She grabs my hand and quickly pulls me back into the building.

"Tegan! Are you okay?" O_O

"Yeah Sara, don't worry I'm okay now that your safe." she smiles at me warmly.

"Wow Tegan! I've never seen that side of you?"

"Well don't get to used to it cus I hate violence and shit"

"Awwe my little pacifist!"

I gently kiss her cheek.

"Common let's go to the Tour bus, Ted and Shaun are probably way ahead of us in Rockband now.


	9. Chapter 9

Note: I'd like to apologize to all of you for never updating this story. I stopped writting eversince my brother passed away. I was honestly just depressed and everything in my life just stopped, but Iv'e decided to finish this... and continue ..i hope i can make it up to you guys. P.s. Meeting Tegan also helped. (smiles) lol

Tegan's Pov

It's been 2 months now. Two months since the tour has ended, 2 months since iv'e seen her.  
Sara and I both agreed that we needed to stay apart for atleast 2 months. We wanted to draw as little attention as posiible. Ugh! I hated this but it had to be done. I mean mom would definetly be more then a little worried if she saw me and Sara actually wanting to spend time together after a big tour.  
Like Sara said, We hadn't hugged since we were in the womb.  
Everyone knew sara and I needed our space after a big tour, since we'd get "tired" of eachother.  
Well... things have definetly changed since then and I can't help but smile to myself.

It is 1 p.m. already. Gosh I have to go meet Sara at the airport soon and my heart is ripping out of this damn buttoned up shirt i decided to wear. "Fuck!" I hope I look okay. I hope she doesn't mind the hair. It's grown since she last saw me. It was a little past my ears now and gosh i hope she looks like shit. What the hell am I saying! that is fucking impossible. "Jesus!" I don't remember ever feeling so god damn nervous about anybody before, then again this isn't just anybody.  
It's Sasa. My little Sasa. I stop to take a breath and smile.  
"Fuck it!"  
I grab my wallet, house keys and head out the door.

Sara's Pov

It's been about 10 minutes now. Tegans still not here, Wait I think I... nope! just some other gay looking chick. Great now I sound hmophobic. Haha! Tegan could never sound homophobic since she has stated time and again that she is indeed "In with them". Jeees where the hell was she? My thoughts are suddenly interrupted when I feel someone poking at my shoulder.  
I quickly turn around and am met with a warm and loving smile, that gummy smile Iv'e missed so much.

"Tegan!" I say her name outloud.

"Sara!" she smiles at me teasingly.

"your late" I look at her grumpily.

She looks slightly worried now.

"I'm ...I'm... I mean... Sorry Sasa, I didn't mean to.. I just.."

I can't help but laugh at her worried reaction.

"your hair?" I look at in awe.

"you like it?" she asks shyly.

I just give her the biggest smile I can give.

"How about we head to your place dork... and i'll show you how much I love it?"

"So is that a yes?" She looks at me with that cheesy grin.

"Tegan common!"

she laughs outloud, takes my hand and we make our way to our own personal rendezvous.


	10. Chapter 10

The Morning After A Long Awaited Night

(Tegan's Pov)  
"Mmm... what the?" I am slowly woken up by something cold pressed against my feet.

I turn slightly to my right to find my sister next to me with an arm wrapped around my waist and her cold bare feet intwined with mine.

"Mmmm soo cold" I shiver to myself as I move closer to her right ear and softly whisper into it.

"Sasa..."

"Sasa wake up"

I gently press my lips up against her warm rosy cheeks and start to give her soft lingering kisses...

"Sasa" (kiss)

"wake" (kiss)

"up." (kiss)

"Your feet" (kiss)

"Are freezing!" I raise my voice slightly.

"I'm up... I'm up!" She turns to me wide eyed, and gosh i can't help but think how fucking cute that just was.

"Goodmorning!" I smile, giving her the famous cheesy grin.

"Tegan.. you bitch..mmm...what happened?" she replies groggily.

"Oh nothing...just that your feet are freeeezing!"

"Oh... but you're so warm!" She smiles at me shyly.

"Am I?"

"Mmm hmm... you're my own little heater!" She giggles lightly.

"Then... I'm gonna do the best job I.. I can.." Gosh there I go with the dorky stuttering.

I hope she doesn't think this is too corny... Fuck.. here I go.

I slowly start to make my way under my warm feather blankets... towards her beautiful, milky white and very cold feet.

I grab them both in my warm identical hands and cover as much of them as I can.

"Gosh Teetee .. your hands are so warm and soft.." she whispers in comfort.

"Just wait till this little heater is put on high" Gosh did I really just say that?

I hear her giggle lightly

"Did you really just say that? Tee you are such a..."

I quickly shut her up as I place light kisses on her toes and slender ankles.

"mmmm Tee..." she shivers lightly and I can't help but feel like a dog getting a fucking treat.

I begin to slowly kiss my way up to her knees and fragile thighs, mmm she is so soft... I still can't believe she is mine.

I can't help but stop suddenly.

"Ummm ...Sara? Are you all mine? I ask nervously and still under the blankets.

I feel her hands find her way into the cave of blanket and gently pull me up to face her.

"Tegan shut the fuck up" she whispers, eyes piercing through me.

"How could you ever doubt that?" her voice sounding more gentle.

"I mean.. I come all the way to Vancouver for what? thefucking weather?"

I can't help but giggle because I know Sara hates Vancouver weather, especially in the cold.

"Yes I am yours Tee... or else I would not be here..." she points at me gently.

"With you... stealing all your body heat" she smiles teasingly.

"Your right... I'm sorry Sasa... It's just so hard to believe sometimes... you being here with me.. and loving me back."

She doesn't reply but kisses me softly. Taking my hand in hers and leading it into her black lace underwear.

"Tee... Touch me pleeease?"

"Fuck..mmm" I let out a sudden moan feeling her already wet clit on my long slender fingers.

"Sara Your so wet..."

"Tee... You do this to me.. I know it's wrong to so many people.. and mmm... maybe even our fans, but I cannot help but feel these feelings for you... I cannot help but Love you... oh fuck...

I slip my two very wet fingers inside of her and start to thrust in and out of my sister... No...not my sister... My lover...

"Oh Tegan... mmmffff"

"Your so tight baby..." I say having to put a bit more pressure into my thrust...

"Iv'e been waiting all month Teeee... mmm" she moans slightly louder.

"Faster Tee.. I'm mmmm... I'm so close..."

"Cum for me baby... I love you soo much, I don't care who knows it..."

BUZZZZZZZZZZ (door buzz)

"TEGAN...SARA...IT'S MOM!"

"Fuck!" Sara flies out of bed making her way to the bathroom...

"Tegan Fuck! tell her i'm in the shower..."

"Shit..shit... Why is mom here?' she didnt call... or email me...

"Coming mom!"

I quickly fix my hair and put some pants and T shirt on... feeling a slight pain in my chest..Here I go... let the lies begin...


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

(TEGAN'S POV)

"Shit, What is mum Doing here?"

I do my best to fix up my hair and put some clothes on as quickly as possible. "Fuck, why did she have to come now." I whisper to myself.

I hear the shower go on, indicating that Sara is washing away any sign that we had done what we had done. That we had been all over each other, that my lips had inhabited her beautiful soft pale skin.

"Fuck!" I need to stop. I really need to get to the door.

I quickly make my way to the front door almost tripping over sara's shoes. Fuck! I forgot to pick up Sara's clothes off the bedroom floor. The room practically screamed Sex!

I quickly pick up Sara's Shoes, pants and ... Her panties. Her cute black thin layered panties. Jesus! I'm slowing myself down here.

"Tegan, are you okay honey!"

I hear my mums knocking quicken and harden.

"Coming mum!"

I quickly throw Sara's clothes under the bed and make my way to our mothers worried knocking.

"Mum hey!" I say as I open the door to an impatient looking Sonia.

"Tegan Quin!" she rushes by me and inside.

"Why In Canada's name wouldn't you open your door? You had me worried?"

I look at her momentarily trying to come up With a quick reasonable lie.

Yes Lie, I Tegan Quin am about to lie to my mother. My wonderful loving mother.

The mother in which I tell everything to.  
Including snitching on Sara a couple of times in High school.

Ugh.

I look at her suddenly and say the first thing that comes to mind.

" It was Sara's fault!"

"Sara?" she looks at me quizzically.

"Yeah she...umm... She couldn't figure out how to work the warm water in the shower."

"No, I mean Sara is here?" she smiles lovingly.

"oh yeah that, she flew in last night..." I respond slightly relieved that she seemed to have forgotten about my hold up.

"Why didn't you tell me she was coming to visit? You know I love it when you two are actually in the same city at the same time." she responds.

"Sorry mum, it was a last minute thing... Sara just wanted to show me some new material she came up with." I say trying to sound as believable as possible.  
Geez there's no new material. Not even close. Sara and I have been... Well... Yeah...

"It's okay Tegan, I'm just glad I caught you two today." she responds.

"YOU CAUGHT US?" I say suddenly. Completely misinterpreting what she just said.

"Yes Tegan, I came by to drop off some childhood photos of you and Sara I stumbled across at your aunts house. Who would of thought I'd catch both of you here and surprise you both."

"Yeah, you definitely surprised us." I hear Sara say as she walks out of the room fully dressed in a white T shirt of mine and a pair of her extra Tight black pants.

"Sara honey!" my mum walks over and gives her a tight hug.

"Hey Mum!" Sara responds with one of her heart warming smiles.

Mum looks happy for a moment... Then...

"Why dint you tell me you'd be here Sara?" mum asks.

Then turns to look at me.

"Tegan?" she asks with a tint of disappointment.  
"Mum, mum relax, no need to worry... I just thought I'd pay Tegan a visit and I was just so tired when I arrived I forgot to call." Sara responds.

"Yeah mum, like I told you... Sara was just so psyched to come work on some new material. I mean especially since we've taken a year off and need all the material we can get!" I look at mum reassuringly.

She looks at the ground for a quick moment. Taking in the information we've given her. The false information we've given her.

She shakes her head as if to clear her thoughts and looks at Sara and I.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry you two." she let's out a breath of air.

"I never did quite understand your music career." she says smiling. Giving us that look.  
The I'll let it slide look.

I can understand though. I can understand why mum acted the way she did. We've always told her every little thing. From tours to vacations, and this thing about not calling... Really isn't us.

Then again we really didn't even know the real us.

Mum pulled us both in for a famous Sonia Clement hug and handed us an envelope.

"Well I'd really love to stay, but I really just came to drop these pictures off... I'm sure you two would love to see these!" she says cheerfully.

"Sara how long will you be visiting honey?" she ask with hope in her voice.

"I'll be here for another 3 weeks mum." she responds nervously.

"Wow... 3 weeks after a tour!" she asks excitedly.

"Yup..." Sara replies awkwardly.

"Ah! My two babies are finally getting along." she comes in for another hug.

"Well okay girls your mother needs to go run some arens, I will be back for a real visit soon." she says grabbing her messenger bag and waving her goodbye.

We both blink at the sound of the door being shut closed.

I then hear Sara's light footsteps come towards me and wrap her arms around me securely.

"Tegan." she whispers behind my ear.

"Are you okay Tee Tee?" her arms tighten around my waist.

She knows how I feel about lying to mum. How could she not.  
I'm sure she feels it too.

We've always had this unbreakable, honest connection with her.

"Sara ... " I whisper on the brink of tears.

"Shh, shh, don't worry Tee I get it." I can hear her voice wavering.

"Sara can we just... Sleep?" I ask pleadingly.

Sleep always reduced our worries. Wether it was work or relationships.

"I was thinking the same thing." she says gentley pulling me to my room.

We lay on the bed cuddling, despite sara's 10 minute limit... She's humming a Madonna song that's all to familiar.

"So you liked the song?" I ask momentarily forgetting our problems.

she slightly blushes.

"What? Justify My Love?" she almost squeals.

"Yeah, that one." I say grinning widely.

"I never thought I would, but after you told me what you told me, I can't get it out of my head... And I don't ever want to. She says lovingly.

"Gosh! I played it for 2 months straight, trying to see if just maybe you'd catch on... Never did." I say with a cheesy grin on my face.

I let out a relieving breath.

"But now that everything is.. well out. I had to tell you what that song meant to me." I say in a whisper.

"Tee Tee for fuck sakes I love that song and I love you." she says pulling me in and kissing me fiercely.

We lay there, just being together.

We lay there, our arms entangled in one another.

I lay there looking at Sara's soft breathing escape her soft lips.

I lay there, wondering if I'll ever be able to kiss her outside these closed doors.

I lay there thinking what kind of excuse will there be next time?

Next time, there will definitely be a next time. Wether it's mum, friends, or our fans.

"Sasa?" I whisper.

"Mmmm?" she mumbles slowly giving in to sleep.

"Will we always hide this love?" I ask groggily.

All i hear is silence. I get no response.

I slowly look at Sara and realize that she's fallen asleep.

I let a tear slide down my cheek as I pull a sleeping Sara closer to me.

As I slowly drift to sleep I can't help but whisper part of Madonna's lyrics.

"Waiting for you to justify my love."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

(SARA'S POV)

Will we always hide this love?

That was the last thing I heard my sister say before I drifted off to sleep.

That was a week ago.

A week ago and I still can't get it out of my head.

Will we always hide this love?

I... I don't know. I really don't. What can we possibly do?  
I mean how could we possibly do anything about this love but hide it.

This isn't a book. This isn't fiction. This is actually happening.

This is our career, our fans, our mum, our friends and family.

This is Tegan. My sister.  
My twin.  
My...my soulmate.

The fucking forbidden fruit. The guilty fucking pleasure.

Pleasure... I can't help but lightly laugh at myself.

Pleasure never makes me feel guilty.

It's been a week. A week of long lingering kisses... Caresses, warmth, and touch.  
A week of holding one another in bed...Talking non stop and just being ...Just being... Happy.

Happy... Sara fucking Quin is happy. I feel my chest warm up.  
I can honestly say I am happy.

I've had past relationships. Wonderful relationships, but they just never gave me that... They never gave me that feeling... That warm feeling that I'm feeling now. That warm, whole and complete feeling I felt when Tegan kissed my lips for the first time. I instantly knew then...that this was it... This was that piece I've been missing.

That empty feeling I'd get at random moments completely vanished. She filled it. She's that missing piece. She... Tegan Quin completes me.

Ha! I really never believed in soul mates ... But mother fucker. I was wrong.

I have a soulmate!  
Mum would be happy. She always thought I was such a downer for that. She said maybe I just hadn't found "The One" ... I mean it took her a couple of tries. Quite a number of times.

Mum. She'd be happy... She'd be happy till... Till she knew who it was.

Ughhhh! What a fucked situation. I found my soulmate ... And it so happens it's Tegan.

Tegan.  
Oh Tee Tee. I let out a sigh.  
this week has been so amazing... But then I think about how she must be feeling inside. How I feel inside.

Do we always have to hide this love?

I mean Just yesterday we went out for dinner. A date... And I couldn't even hold her fucking hand. Not because I didn't want to... But because I can't and I know how much Tegan loves to show her affection... But now.. Now that she has me.. Her girlfriend.. She can't ...

As we walked to the brazilian restaraunt that night, she managed to grab my hand for about 10 seconds. I felt her soft fingers intwine with mine. It felt nice.

All of a sudden I saw some guy walking towards us and I instantly pulled away. Instantly loosing all contact.  
God... Her face at that moment. She looked so hurt... Like a wounded dog.  
Like I just answered her god damn queastion that night that I didn't respond.

Will we always hide this love.

Fuck... Then i think about Lindsey Byrnes.

Pretty...sweet.. affectionate... Talented... And a curvaceous body.

Unlike this 12 year old body.

Ugh. I think about Lindsey and how before me, Tegan had this crush on her and now god knows Lindsey might like Tegan back!

Well I don't know if she does, but Jesus!

I can't even say I have a girlfriend... I can't even say Tegan is mine.

I can't tell Lindsey that even if she did like Tegan... She's taken... By me.

I mean Lyndsey is our photographer. She's gonna be around alot and... Around Tegan.

Fuck...These things worry me.

But what really worries me is... After Lyndsey.. Who will be next? Who else will like Tegan? Who else do I have to worry about? And who does Tegan have to worry about. How can we tell anyone we aren't taken... When we are.

Then there is our friends and family... They are so important to Tegan and I... How could we possibly keep this from them... How many years of lying? Till we grow old and "alone."

I won't be alone.. I'll be as complete as ever but Tegan... How could she bare it. Could she bare being with me forever? If forever means limitations? Hiding and lying all our lives?

I couldn't possibly show this love. It's just... Impossible.

All I have now are these walls... These walls that will forever keep us hidden.

I know I can do this.  
I've always been a lonely independent person.. And I enjoy privacy... But what about Tee? She's so different. I can tell she is proud of this and... Us.. But that's all it can be.. Us.. Between us... Tee Tee... My poor Tee Tee...

I suddenly feel a tear slide down my cheek.

It would be like caging a tiger.  
A tiger... born to run wild and be free.

Oh god.. Tee Tee...

I turn my body to face a reading Tegan.

So beautiful with her reading glasses.

I grab her waist from under the white soft blankets.

And pull her to face me.

She quickly puts her book down and grabs my chin softly.

"Sara! What's wrong... Why are you crying?" she looks so worried.

I instantly wrap my thin fragile arms around her neck and hug her with all my might.

"Tegan... I'm so fucking sorry... " I say in a whisper

"Why Sasa?" her voice grows with worry.

"I heard you that night Tegan... You asked me WILL WE ALWAYS HIDE THIS LOVE? And...and.. The answer is yes Tee."

I let out more tears.

"We couldn't possibly... Come out... And... Fuck! I don't want to cage you in Tegan and hurt you. I don't want to push you away every time someone is around. I want to make you happy... And i'm afraid.. That hiding this and lying .. Will push you... And I don't know if you can take that... Take me.. Knowing that we can never show this love."

I hug her tighter.

I feel her body weaken in my arms.

Silence.. All I hear is silence... She isn't saying anything... Then I hear it ... The sadness. Her sadness.

"Sara...Sara I know..." I hear her trembling voice.

"As much as it fucking hurts... I know you would never ruin your life like that... I thought maybe.. Maybe we could tell somebody... A friend? Maybe.. Just maybe.. We can show it around certain people.. But that's just a big risk.. isn't it?" she hugs me tighter.

"It's impossible Tee" I whisper in her hear.

"I know..." she whispers back.

I suddenly hear her sob.

"Sara.. No matter what.. I will always love you.. And.. And... You could never cage me in... You letting me love you..and loving me back.. Is the perfect escape." she says kissing my kneck lightly.

"So don't be scared Sasa... I could never ever leave u... how could I? When you're all I ever wanted. I'll just... I'll just have to Bare it... If it means I could be with you... Then lying and hiding will just have to do."

I feel her take in her breath and grab my face gentley.

She leans in and kisses me tenderly.

"I love you Tee Tee." I say breathless.

"I love you too Sasa." she smiles that smile.

"Ugh let's just forget about this... Sasa!" she gets up and out of bed with a very cheesy smile... Hiding away all sadness. Only her tired eyes remain.

"I got you something!" she runs to her living room.

(TEGAN'S POV)

Fuck... It hurts. I need to hold her.. Touch her.. Kiss her... And not being able to do so all the time kills me! But jesus! I'm wasting time with her by moping around.. Right now... I just want to make her smile.

I hate seeing Sara worry.

I kiss her as tenderly as possible...I don't want her to over think because of me. I just.. I just want to enjoy us right now.

Gosh her lips make me feel so... High..

I can't help but cheesily smile. Like always.

She does that to me... Mmmm...

I tell her we should just forget about this because god knows I don't want to think about my worries anymore.

I quickly get up off the bed and smile with excitement.

I tell her I got her something and I really can't wait to give it to her.

I quickly make my way out of the room and to kitchen drawers.  
Sara would never look in the pots and pans section.. I do the cooking here. I make myself laugh out loud.

I quickly get the white gift bag with it's black bow and make my way back to a waiting Sara.

She looks curious and kinda nervous. I love that look.

I make my way to her side of the bed and lean in for a quick kiss

I hand her the bag with impatience.

She smiles lovingly and slowly takes out her gift.

It's one of the pictures mum brought for us last week. Sara and I looked through about 15 and one... there was one picture that caught our complete attention.

It was a picture of Sara And I. We were about 9 or 10... My arm is wrapped around her shoulder as she's placing a big wet kiss on my very red cheek.

Sara couldn't help but blush when we saw it. I was always the affectionate one but as kids... Sara was too.

She loved that picture so much... I went and got it framed for her.

"I hope you like it Sasa."

"Like it Tegan?" she says with unbelief.

"I love it..." she says in a low but loving voice.

As I'm spacing off towards her sweet, low, loving voice... I suddenly feel her thin, soft but aggressive hands pull me down towards her and on top.

"So you do love it!" I say in a pitchy voice.

"Yesss Silly." she kisses me softly.

"can we put it beside your bed?"

I instantly correct her.

"You mean our bed?" I smile.

"Nooo Tegan, I mean..." I instantly cut her off.

"Sara... Shhh...OUR bed." I look at her lovingly.

"Listen... Would you?" I begin to ask what I've been dying to ask for years now.

"Tegan? Are u?" her eyes grow wide.

"Yes Sara, I'm asking you if you'd come back to Vancouver... With me."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

SARA'S POV

It's been 2 weeks since Tegan asked me to move in with her. I am now in Montreal.  
Beautiful, cozy Montreal.

I still can't believe she asked me to come back to Vancouver with her.  
Tegan. Beautiful, cozy Tegan.

I can't help but smile when I think of this. It's true Tegan is very cozy. So cozy, I can almost spoon her for long periods of time. If it weren't for my womb phobias I wouldn't... I wouldn't mind. Not at all but I would never admit it out loud. At least not to Tegan. She'd never let me breathe in bed again.

"Hah." I can't help but laugh into the half empty closet that I am currently emptying out.

"What's so funny?!" I hear a curious Tegan walking towards me.

I turn around and give her the it's none of your business look.

"Nothing Tegan, Jeees!"

She rolls her eyes and slowly leans in close to me and my neatly folded color coded shirts.  
She then gently grabs my shoulder pulling me slightly towards her.

"If you say so Sarrr" she leans in and pecks my cheek.

"So how was the morning walk?" I ask hiding away the blush that was suddenly appearing.

"It was good, Montreal is always so cold." she replies and I smile when I notice her red nose.

"I love that." I say out loud.

"I know you do Sarrr." She thinks I meant the weather.

I cannot help but smile at her cluelessness.

She then kneels down, taking off her coat and slowly wraps it around me.

She then leans into my ear and whispers...

"I'll keep you warm inside my clothes."

I smile one of my rare gummy grins that are only meant for her.

"I swear that nothing will ever change The way we are right now." I sing in return.

"Haha, I love when you sing Terrible Storm Sarrr."

"and I love you." I say as I look down shyly.

"I love you too Sasa." she replies sweetly.

I feel her soft hand make its way to my chin and gently tilt my head so that I can see her deep honey eyes.

"I cannot wait to have you back in Vancouver with me." she says as her eyes lightly water.

"Tee? What's wrong?" I ask worriedly.

"oh shit, ha! I'm sorry Sarrr." she wipes her eyes embarrassed.

" I just can't believe you said yes. I've wanted this Eversince you left for Montreal."

I can't help but feel my heart hit the floor and climb its way back.

"Oh Tee, shhhh." I press my lips to her soft rosy cheek.

"Lets not think about that. That was so long ago."

"I know Sarrr, but gosh I felt so fucking empty after you left. I mean I know you wanted your precious space, independence, just experience a new city and..."

"That's not true Tee." I cut her off.

"I didn't leave for the reasons a gave you and everyone else." I can't help but bitterly laugh at this nostalgic memory.

"I left because.. Well.. You see... I've loved you since then." her eyes grow wide.

"I left because I couldn't deal with those inevitable feelings I had for you."

"I left because I started to grow angry with frustration. Angry that i couldn't just fucking be with you. We began fighting so much... I just. I needed to leave. I needed to leave and not take it out on you. You didn't know. It wasn't your fault... I would give you so much shit and I just needed..."

I am suddenly cut off by a loud guffaw.

Why is she laughing? I look at her angrily.

"Tegan what the hell?! Why are you laughing?!"

She grabs my shoulders tightly as her laugh settles down.

"Sara... " she wipes the tears I've barely just noticed.

"Sara... Me too." i don't understand. I look at her puzzled.

"I've loved you since then." She what? Tegan felt the same? Back then?

I am hit with a slap of silence.

"Sara are you okay?" she whispers softly with concern.

It was my turn to let out a guffaw.

"Fuck!" I let it out.

"You mean to tell me... hahaha... That we...hahaha... For fucks sake! We could have saved ourselves so much..." I am unable to finish that sentence.

"Fuck!" I yell out loud.

I quickly get up and grab the black leather suitcase that lays on my bed.

"Sara what are you?" she looks at me cautiously.

"Packing." I smile lovingly.

"Lets get the fuck out of here and back to Vancouver before we waste any more time." I laugh out loud.

Her worried lips turn into one of the cheesiest grins I've seen this week.

"Let's get the fuck out of here."


	14. Chapter 14

**Tegan's Pov**

I wake up to the warm scent of coffee. The warm scent of that dark, strong liquid that caresses her lips. That dark, strong liquid that tells me she is awake and she is here. Here with me.

finally.

I've missed this.  
I've missed vancouver. Vancouver with Sara. I've missed breathing in her scent, her scent in my home. In our home. I've missed sharing the Morning air with the only person I don't actually mind Sharing the morning air with.

"Ha!" I break my train of thought.

I can't help but laugh at myself and my shortage of air phobias.

"Tee? You awake?" I hear her warm breath ask from a distance. A distance that is way to far for my liking at the moment.

"Yeah Sarrr!" I quickly reply as I look for my clothes that were thrown somewhere in this room last night.

"Ah there you go!" I find my briefs on the floor and hurriedly slide them on.

I am about to run out shirtless when I realize It's pretty cold. I take a few steps back and head to our shared closet.

I grab hold of one of Sara's shirts and messily pull it over my morning haired head and eagerly make my way to my awaiting twin.

**Sara's Pov**

"Is that my shirt?" I suspiciously eye my twin and she makes her way to my direction.

"Maybe..." She replies with a slight grin.

"Come here you little thief!" I playfully pull the hem of the shirt towards me. Making her body instantly press against mine.

I gently rap my arms around her neck and lean in to her ear and whisper lovingly.

"You stole my heart."

Her eyes go wide and she looks down embarrassed.

"Haha." I can't help but laugh at her sweetly.

Tegan could never really handle sweet compliments from me. We spent most of our lives insulting each other so this was new to her and I couldn't help but love her reactions.

I lift her chin just the way she did just days ago and press my coffee scented lips on hers.

"I love you Sarr." she whispers as she gets a tight hold around my waist and embraces me.

"I love you to Tee..." I let my body melt into her hold.

After about 40 seconds of bliss she lets go and holds my hands.

"But really Sarrr... you don't mind us sharing a closet do you?"

"Oh gosh no... I mean if I had brought all my clothes then maybe I'd need your whole room." I reply jokingly.

"Haha! Yeah you would.. you have a bunch of shirts and that one leather jacket!"

"Hey I love that Jacket!" I slap her arm lightly.

"I know you do Sarrr..." she sincerely smiles at me.

" I'm really sorry you couldn't bring all your things." she rubs my arms apologetically.

"It's okay Tegan. We both agreed This moving out thing was between you and me."

I had to leave most of my things behind. My furniture, my sheets, my dishes and most of my clothing and shoes.

We agreed to not tell anyone about our new living arrangements.

It just seemed way to risky. I mean we are 29 year old twin sisters... living alone together. What would people think? Tegan protested at first; saying who the fuck cares. But I did.  
We had to be smart about this. If we really wanted to be together. We couldn't let anyone know anything. Not even our band members.

So as far as everyone knows. I still live in Montreal & Tegan in Vancouver. I guess you can say my old house is our get away house. It's still the same. Under my name and all my shit in it... but we live in Vancouver now.

Just Tegan & I.

I am taken out of my thoughts when I feel Tegan wrap her arms around my waist once more.

"I know Sarrrr. It just sucks... hiding." She says turning me around and leaning her chin on my shoulder.

she lets out a sigh.

"I want to be able to brag." I giggle at her cockiness.

"Well, as long as you know I'm yours and I have given my everything to you... lets just be happy." I turn back around and kiss her passionately.

"I mean common! you got little miss independent here to move back in with her sister!" I look at her lovingly.

"True.." she says as she pretends to ponder.

"Let's just keep enjoying each other now that we have a short break from touring and no one here to interrupt us." I tell her & myself.

"No one to interupt us." I repeat into her ear.

I begin to pull her white boy briefs down.

"Sara.." she moans lightly.

"Tegan..." I kneel down the kitchen floor.

Ready to taste her sweet juices in my mouth.

RING!

RING!

"Fuck!" Tegan grunts in frustration and quickly runs to the phone.

"Yessss Hello?" she tries her best to sound calm.

"Oh hey, yeah.. Sara got a new house number that's probably why she didn't pick up." Tegan smiles towards me knowing "my" house is really empty.

I silently laugh to myself and turn to make a new cup of coffee.

"Whaaaat?!" I hear Tegan yell.

I turn around and look at her eyes slightly water with a look of disappointment.

"Yeah no worries... I'll see you then." she hangs up and slowly sets the phone down.

She turns around and faces me sadly.

"I guess we won't be able to spend as much time together this year..."

"What why!?" I ask.

My voice already fuming with anger.

"Tour dates for Sainthood our in... we start in 2 weeks."

"Fuck.." I shut my eyes and hold onto the kitchen counter.

The air is filled with silence... we remain speechless. Part of the reason why we moved out so quickly was because we needed our privacy. We needed time together... We thought our short vacation would at least be 2 months longer.

I slowly walk towards Tegan who is already laying on her couch. Her eyes closed.. facing the ceiling. I kneel next to her face and kiss her lips softly.

"It will be okay Tegan... lets just enjoy what we do have. Make it count."

I whisper lovingly.

She slowly opens her eyes and looks at me.. searching for comfort.

I kiss her lips a second time but this time with all the passion I have for her.

She closes her eyes and hums into my mouth. The music slowly coming out of her already.

I softly part my lips from hers and slowly stand up. My body right in front of her face.  
I swiftly pull my panties off as she watches them hit the floor.

I look at her seductively and know whats coming.

A smile instantly spreads on her face... she instantly cheers up and pulls my hips to her face.

**Tegan's Pov**

I can't help but instantly feel happy again.  
Sara's body does things to me. She just knows how to make me better.  
How to fix me.

I am definitely going to make these two weeks count.

I pull her hips towards my face hungrily. I press my nose against her hairless mound and take in her wonderful scent. She smells so fucking good. I just want to... My face lowers itself into her beautiful pink pussy and I start to lick her slippery wet folds. Fuck... she taste just like she smells. So good.

She let's out a very audible moan... making my pussy throb.

RINNNG!

"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!" She yells to the phone.

It's her turn to run for the phone. She quickly grabs it and throws it impatiently towards my hands.

"Haha." I laugh at her dark impatient look.

"Hello?" I say still laughing at her childish reactions.

"Oh hey Lindsey..." I suddenly see Sara's face darken a bit more.

I do my best not to laugh out loud.

"Oh yeah Lindsey... that's great! see you soon." I quickly hang up and make my way to a very irritated looking Sara. Her arms already crossed.

"That was Lindsey Byrnes... she called to tell me she'll see us both in two weeks... she's is going to be taking pictures of this whole tour."

"Are you serious." She responds in her ever so enthusiastic monotoned voice.

"Baby common." I look at her seriously.

"Lindsey is just a friend who I used to like... used to." I say to her firmly.

"I can't help it Tegan... she's everywhere... and you two left off in the part where she might be gay too!" she throws her arms in the air.

"Annnd... You can't even tell her your taken!" she turns around goes for her coffee.

"Sara... I already told her I don't want to take that risk. That was the excuse I gave her and she respects that." I follow her footsteps and grab her arm before she reaches for her cup of coffee.

"Tegan... stop!" I twist her around and kiss her hard.

"Sara geees, who knew you'd be this jealous." I grin at her playfully.

She rolls her eyes and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Well... I get so jealous, I can't even work." She smiles back.

"Hahaha!" I let out a loud laugh.

"I love you so much Sa..."

She quickly shuts me up with a much heated kiss.

"Shut up Tegan and.." she looks down at her naked cunt and looks at me impatiently.

"Yes Sir!" I respond ecstatically.

She softly pushes my head downward and into her wet cunt...

"Wait!" I stop myself and break our trance.

"Tegan what?" She looks surprised.

"This..." I run to the phone and disconnect it. I seriously won't be able to handle another call.

She smiles at me lovingly and runs towards me.. grabs my hand and pulls us to the bedroom.


	15. Chapter 15

2 weeks Later (Back on Tour)

**Tegan's Pov**

That was the shortest lived get away anyone could have ever had. 2 weeks. 2 short lived weeks. That barely gave us anytime to sleep, even though sleep was the last thing on our minds.

"Sigh."

I let out a much needed sigh as I finish folding the sheets on my bunk. I look around noticing Sara's bunk has already been neatly done. I smile to myself and wonder where she's gone. Without me.

I make my way through the tour buses dinning area where Lindsey and the boys are enjoying their morning breakfast. Over easy eggs, bacon & toast.

"Morning Tegan!" Shaun instantly greets as he takes a bite of his toast.

Everyone else turns and greets me with a morning nod and smile.

I smile back and take a couple of seconds to look around. Look around for Sara.

"Hey Tegan, want some toast?" Ted offers, cutting my search short.

"Oh umm sure Ted... But umm?" I take a moment to look around one last time.

"Looking for Sara?" Johnny grins knowingly.

"No!" I reply quickly; embarrassed for showing my instant concern for not seeing a sign of my sister this morning.

"Suuuure Tegan." Johnny replies doubtfully.

He grins and slowly takes a bite from his toast. A painfully slow bite. He's not going to answer, unless i ask. Ugh.. He just wants to hear me say it... Johnny always knows how to tease me. I open my mouth, ready to ask... when.

"She went out for a walk, said she'd be back in 30." Lindsey replies lovingly.

"Oh...okay, yeah. Thanks Lindsey." I reply coolly and look at her thankfully.

"Hmmm, it sounds like a good idea, a morning walk. I think I'll take one myself." I state as casually as I can.

Johnny smiles to himself and hands me a cup of coffee.

"Here, give it to Sara. I'm sure she's fine Tegan." He looks at me with an understanding look.

I give him a shy smile in return and make my way through the dining area and to the outside of the tour bus.

As soon as I hit the mornings welcoming air, I let out a relieving thought.

Even before Sara and I became involved; the guys always knew us as overprotective twin sisters, who tried our best not to show our love and concern for one another, therefore making this new relationship unnoticeable.

At least I hope so.

I start to look around the empty road and wonder where she could have walked off to. Before I can try to use my "twin" powers I see a beautiful slender figure at a distance, making its way towards the buses direction. I instantly know it's Sara and quickly make my way towards her.

As I get closer I notice she has her arms wrapped around herself and is slightly trembling from the mornings cold breeze.

"It looks like you're in need of some assistants." I spread my arms open, ready to warm her up.

"Oh god yes!" she responds joyously and makes her way towards me.

As I wait to feel her strong slender arms wrap around me I suddenly feel something being pulled from my hand.

"My morning coffee!" she sighs happily, taking the cup from my hand.

"The coffee, yeah that." I say, completely forgetting Johnny gave it to me, to give to Sarr.

I can't help but just stand there and watch her caress her cup of coffee and not me.

I blink away the sudden urge to look down and frown. I haven't felt her arms around me in over 4 days now. The last time being a fucking group hug with the band, which ended in her giving me a long lingering individual hug, that no one seemed to notice but Ted. Ted... He just smiled at our sisterly affection.  
Sometimes I wish we'd tell him.

"Umm, I hope the coffee helped." I say ignoring my thoughts.

She looks down at her cup of coffee and nods a yes.

"Tegan." she looks back up searching my eyes.

I look directly at them with a bit of disappointment.

"Come here." she extends her arms open like I had done earlier.

"I'm kidding silly. Don't think I didn't notice." She smiles her warm smile that she knows will fix me up in no time.

I quickly sink into her arms and nuzzle my nose into her shoulders; taking in her clean morning scent.

"We haven't done this is in over 4 days Tee, I missed it." She sighs into me.

My eyes grow wide.

"You think you're the only one that's aching?" She whispers softly into my ear.

I loosen myself from her grasp and smile at her widely.

"Twins." I can't help but point out our synced thoughts.

"Oh, shhhush." She rolls her eyes and takes my hand leading us towards the tour bus at a distance.

As we make our way to our prison of a tour bus I can't help but express my thoughts to Sara.

"Sarrr, have you ever thought about telling Ted?" I ask in complete honesty. Hoping she will add to my new found hope towards our happiness.

"Tell Ted what Tegan?" she lets out a laugh.

"About us." I say seriously, making sure she knows this isn't a joke.

"Tegan, are you serious?" She answers with confusion written all over her face.

"Umm, yeah… It's just… I keep thinking how much more free we'd be if…" I am suddenly cut off by Sara's hand quickly letting go of my hand, with an unbelieving look on her face.

"No." she answers me, cutting off my rant.

"No? You haven't even finished hearing what I have to say Sarr." I let out an anxious laugh.

"Tegan stop!" She stops her footsteps from moving any closer to the tour bus.

"You know that's impossible, common… just please let it go. We knew when we did what we did, that this would be difficult… but it's what we have to do if we want to be together." She tells me with all seriousness.

I can't help but feel hurt and slightly distraught.

She didn't even think twice. Is she ashamed? Is this love so wrong? Is this so fucking wrong to her that she can't even talk about it? That she cannot bare the thought of somebody else knowing, even if it's the people who we trust the most.

"Please understand Tee Tee." She whispers to me, holding my hand once more.

"It's the right thing to do." She states reassuringly.

"It was just a thought Sarrr." I reply, calming my thoughts.

"I love you okay." She smiles warmly. Making sure I am okay.

"I love you to Sasa… now let's got eat breakfast. I'm starving and cannot survive off of coffee like you." I smile teasingly.

"Yeah? Well you survive off of cupcakes and chips." She answers back.

"Common let's go inside Ms. I can never lose." She rolls her eyes and continues to walk.

As we draw ourselves closer to the tour bus's entrance, I feel her hand gently let go of mine and reach for the knob and all I can think at that moment is.

I'm not ashamed.


End file.
